JASON MATTHEW GODFREY - Online Memorial Website

One this eve of Jay's death, I waited for Chris to arrive, knowing that we had to disconnected him from life support....My heart was broke..I walked the street, to the home the hosp had provided for us....while chris spent the night with his baby brother...we knew that Nov 3 would be the day....that we would say our goodbyes...goodbyes we never wanted to say....we talked to you, we held you ,I washed you and rubbed your head..cut your hair .I prayed for a miracle...How could this be..How could I let go of you..I knew that I was doing the right thing...When they told us you were brain dead...But, how could I do this...How could I let you..I gave you life and now I have to let you go...How could this be..How could I live everyday with out you...How could I breathe again...smile again...look at my other boys,your brothers, who adored you, looked up to you..You were the hip one, the one with all the girls, the one that played the piano...you were the one that made us laugh...How could this be...in an instant you were taken from us...ripped from our heart...as I write this to you tonight...tears a running down my face...My beautiful son...I was there when life began...now this...one senseless act the took you from us......I thank you for the days I had with you, the love you gave me..the smile you had for me...I thank God, I was your Mom....I am forever blessed to have such wonderful boys....I feel the love...I feel your love from the other side...I just want to touch you, hold you...feel you hug agian...I do not want to cry....But, I miss you my little one....Missing your face, that lit up like the sun...I had a wonderful reading and I know you are there....I miss you...I miss you more than words can say...and on this day....I am trying to look at your death as the birth into another place....That you had to go...to prepare a place for us...Love,Mom

I really did not believe I could live another day, and I have...I never believed I would laugh again...I have...I never thought I would ever stop crying everyday....I have....I never thought I would live this long, with out you, AND I HAVE..Its been the most difficult journey, I could ever have taken...I would give my life to have you for one day...To see those beautiful brown eyes...To hear you laugh...I would give anything...

As I sit here tonight, on the eve of Jason's 13th Angelversary, and My Mom's 11. I am filled with gratitue. I miss Jason and my Mother more than I can ever tell you. But, I am aslo so grateful for all the gifts that I have gained on this jounrey of loss...Not a day goes by that my heart does not ache for my beautiful ,talented funny son...I miss hearing him playing the piano...I miss him doing imatations of New yorkers on the bus...I miss his great sushi making and the beautiful art that he created...I miss his love and kindness to the less fortunate..I miss how he called me Mom, but most all I miss his hugs...No matter what, he would tell me it would be ok....I know you are there Jay, cause you show me signs...But, it is somehow not the same...I know that you are safe, helping others that have crossed over...It is just who you were and will always be...I know that you are helping me with all that I do...I am sure of this...But, I miss you little one..My little son...I miss you Jason...